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Tuesday, May 4th, 2004

Time:7:11 pm.
Mood: jubilant.
just a little note-

hey i really want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for handling this whole situation with maturity and dignity. i just think it's great how you can talk to people who i hardly know, and who hardly know me about what a horrible person i am. that's just cool, i love it! its a super adult way to handle the situation, and i just wish i had that much maturity and civility in me to do the same. keeping stuff to yourself is so overrated. it's totally for pussies! i just wish i could really take that to heart.

i also think it's cool that you just conveniently leave out parts of the story to make it sound exactly how you want it to! that is just awesome! why didnt i think of that???? i suck so bad! i also admire you for having NEVER kidded around with your friends about anything that you wouldn't want someone else to know about. i know you never have in your whole life, so that's why you have grounds to criticize!!! and i sincerely enjoy having things i've said in confidence to you spread all over the school too! you've done it several times, and every time i just get a little happier, and it makes me like you more too! i wish i had the courage to spill people's secrets!!! shit i should maybe just kill myself! what a worthless fuck i am!

i'll end with an extremely sincere thank you for not talking about my behind my back, except today and yesterday, when you did a lot!!!! THANKS!!! YOU RULE!!!!



and to all you other assholes who are angry with me, don't even be until you at least hear me out. and if you don't, i just don't care. this whole thing is blown WAY out of proportion.

Monday, May 3rd, 2004

Time:5:37 pm.
so it's come to this.


that's where i'll be. comment if you want to be added. maybe i'll add you, maybe i won't.

Wednesday, April 28th, 2004

Time:2:00 pm.
Mood: thankful.
oh man ok i've calmed down a bit after that last entry. no i haven't OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG its finally real. at least more so than it was. this family lives in Miskolc. i do not know where that is, but i am going to look it up as soon as possible. aaack i am going to wet myself. WHOOO....

well the band trip was alright, everyone i hung out with ended up getting on my nerves, but that's no surprise, really. I was with Evan, Shannon, and Danny Phelps most of the time. Evan and i ate with scott, jonathon, and brad one night but we split up when Scott kindly decided to ditch me. i wasnt too surprised though; this is scott we're talking about. i was pretty pissed though. our performance was awful. i bought so much crazy shit in disneyland. i took lots of pictures so hopefully i will have them posted shortly.

anywho, during the trip my mother informed me that my dad just suddenly decided to flip my mattress? (hey dipshit, its one of those specified "no flip" kinds) anyway he found my third quarter report card that i pilfered and my journals (hi retard you don't hide shit under your mattress, that is the most obvious place) so now i am super grounded till the end of school and probably some in to the summer. i am not even supposed to get on the internet, but i'm sneaky.

on another happy note, Monday we found out that our band will be going to state!!!!! i was so happy i almost cried. i honestly didn't think we would get to go this year because.. well we're not as good as last year. but we are playing harder stuff... well whatever, we're going. yesssss.

and now i am excruciatingly ill. i guess i just have a sinus infection, but it was so bad on monday night that my mom took me to urgent care. i've been out of school for the past two days. i am so fucked in the school work department.

so apart from having my privacy invaded and being quite sick, this has still been one of the best couple of weeks i can remember. :) life is ok.
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Time:1:57 pm.

:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)
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Wednesday, April 21st, 2004

Time:8:02 pm.
Mood: hopeful.
band goes to Anaheim tomorrow. i'm definitely looking forward to it, all but the plane ride. i will be pissing myself. though i should hopefully be sitting next to Scott so my fear will be replaced with intense anger and hatred. this is how we coexist. i would not want it any other way.

i hope this trip is fun... i dont know why but i have high expectations for this one. it should be awesome.

i am just constantly tired lately and it is terrible. i guess i'm going to the doctor next week, hopefully i'll get something to make this better.

oh and in case you all did not see, i am just cool enough to get a freaking story about me in the school paper. if any of you would like for me to autograph it for you, it would be my pleasure. it will be worth millions someday. i rule so much.

well i bid you adieu until sunday. word.
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Sunday, April 18th, 2004

Time:9:30 pm.
Mood: frustrated.
so i guess i have a paper due tomorrow that i completely forgot about. shit.

i spent the day trying to find a swimsuit. it proved to be a completely futile effort, because none are large enough to contain my massive boobs. finally, at the fifth store we went to, i found one that fits, but its kind of ugly. i'm looking for one from victorias secret now, since they sell them by bra size. i can at least find SOMETHING there; the only problem is that they are ridiculously expensive.

god damn. do ample breasted women get no sympathy?
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Friday, April 16th, 2004

Time:6:54 pm.
Mood: sick.
i have the worst headache in the world and it will not leave. i've had it since yesterday morning. its miserable. here's the worst part though: i've seen the same "Full House" episode TWICE in the past days ive been sick. Why is that show still on? and why is that show so not funny? and most importantly, why was I watching it??? i am disgusted.

i refuse to eat anything but cinnamon toast crunch and french fries. luckily we do have the former. maybe i can talk my mother into picking me up the latter as well. my dad is such a shitface whenever i am sick; i dont know if he just doesn't believe me, or if he just doesn't care. he's wanting me to write out schedules of what i'm going to do over the weekend and other stupid shit like that.

in other news, that creepy redhaired goon is still on American Idol.
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Wednesday, April 14th, 2004

Time:10:13 pm.
i am bored.Collapse )
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Time:9:20 pm.
Mood: angry.
hey, assholes, if youre gonna do a giant survey, or type something extremely long, consider a livejournal cut. aight?

third place at TRL last night. i am a little disappointed, only because we got second place last year. at least we qualified for state again. GOD I HOPE WE GO.

i had to go to the CIM day today. i get there, go to the class i'm supposed to be in, and the teacher sends me to the counseling office to get my worksample to revise. ok... there are like 20 kids in the office waiting for the same thing. so we sit there and finally some lady comes out and starts taking kids back one by one, and all the mean kids go first. so then some creepy guy comes out and is like "i'll take three of you" so i went, got my thingy (mind you this process took about 45 minutes so far) and go back to the class. there are like 25 kids in there and one teacher and she has to go around and tell everyone individually what to fix. and i'm last. so i wait another 45 minutes for her to get to me and guess what i had to do to fix it? i had to erase the title and write it in a different way, and change like two sentences.

did i waste my day? i say a big fat yes. so i go out in the hall and the vice principal is like "i'm going to have to ask you to leave campus... we can't just have children wandering around." "ok well my ride doesn't get here for another hour and a half." "yeah i have to ask you to leave." so i got to sit outside in the rain. then i got sick of that and snuck in to lacy's room and read the thesaurus.

and now my parents are being nazis. WHY??!?!?!?!?!!!
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Monday, April 12th, 2004

Subject:the newest craze! BUTT PLUGS!
Time:10:11 pm.
Mood: creative.
"have you ever been in the heat of passion when you suddenly find yourself wishing for that extra... BANG!!!... to make the night truly complete? Have you ever found yourself thinking "gosh, i sure wish i could plug one more orifice in my body!" Well, friend, your wish has come true, all in the form of a man made object known on the streets as a butt plug. Our brand of rectal stimulators have withstood the test of time due to their durability, as well as their versatility. We offer the standard plastic and rubber models, and for you rugged, outdoorsy types, we offer oak, mahogany, and wicker models as well. For you pleasure connoisseurs and big spenders, who demand only the best in anus enlivening, we also offer sterling silver and 24 karat gold models. Our products are available in different sizes, so that each individual can get the most out of their butt plug experience. We offer sizes ranging from the 1 inch diameter "petite plugger" to our 7 inch diameter "colossal cork". Do not delay!!! Plug your rump today!!! to request a catalog, call 1-800-ASS-PLAY."

i'm a genius.
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Wednesday, April 7th, 2004

Time:9:06 pm.
Mood: content.
yayeee our band finally qualified for state this year. i am so glad; i really hope we get to go this year. that would make me so happy.

it was a very fun day. we got to school at 7:15 and then realized that administration didn't send enough busses, so symphonic band went first with a few wind ensemble people. the rest of us stayed at school until 9:15 until our bus got there and then we went out to western oregon university. we ate lunch and then we performed. it was super. the bus rides are always the best part though. scott kept reclining the seat and evan was right behind him and he got so mad. evan is hilarious when he is angry. he wrote a note that said "dear scott, you are a shithead. i hate you. dear meagan, youre hot." it was extremely humorous.

i also purchased some condoms and i looked on the package and realized that one of them expires this month. so i better get busy.
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Saturday, April 3rd, 2004

Subject:is this what i have become?
Time:11:04 pm.
Mood: full.
ugh i ate way too much today. i am disgusting.

Stevie and i went to see the prince and me tonite. it was ok.... i wasn't expecting much and it wasn't great. shocking.

last night liz and aaron and i ended up at pietro's. it was awesome. i enjoy spending time with those two. fiedler is a riot.

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Friday, April 2nd, 2004

Time:5:21 pm.
Mood: cheerful.
tonite will rule. it did last year, and last year i was in the midst of an emotional crisis, so this year it will be MUCH better. if such a thing is possible.

liz and i were devastated that we didnt win the raffle today. lafevre was a bitch too. so we threw stuff at her and her lesbian lover, but we didnt hit her. next time.

the band festival was excellent. we improved our scored by like 15 points so mr v is happy about that. and i have a huge crush on a fellow named fauntleroy. i want him badly. ;)

i better go change my clothes. its almost time to eat some cake.
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Monday, March 22nd, 2004

Time:10:17 pm.
Mood: nervous.
my mommy and i went to Hawthorne and over to 23rd today. i got some stationery and a skirt and two CDs. and i saw the guy from everclear in Music Millennium. he was just buying stuff. it was weird.

some lady opened her car door on the busy street and a lady in an SUV drove into it. it was kind of funny but kind of not. the door was all effed up. what an idiot.

I have to go to the Rotary meeting tomorrow. I think the lady is still mad at me because of my grades. They're all up to passing now though... even if that means D's. well it's better than F's, right? and they'll be up even more within the next weeks.... :/

dear lord, please please please don't let me get kicked off the exchange program. please. i would be devastated.
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Sunday, March 21st, 2004

Time:10:29 pm.
i REALLY wish Liz wasn't grounded. i would like to hang out with her. she's the only person i want to see right now really. i miss her lots.

We took my sister to camp today. tomorrow i think my mommy is taking me shopping. that will be nice. I would like to not be so alone this break. but i shouldn't complain. i made five lists yesterday and that was good. then i threw them away.

My parents were getting on my case last night about the importance of setting goals. but i didn't want to hear it. I just wanted to show them this:Collapse )
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Friday, March 19th, 2004

Time:10:12 pm.
Mood: creative.
I took the bus and brought in some last minute stuff for lafevre today. let me tell you, there is nothing i enjoy more than spending time with the biggest bitch in the world; especially on a day when i wouldn't normally have to! I brought my sister with me to keep me company. i bought her lunch as well, because i am an extremely kind person.

i went to that secondhand store in downtown milwaukie and got myself some pink polka-dotted fabric that i intend to use to make a skirt (as soon as mother gets the sewing machine repaired... and as soon as i learn how to construct clothing). I also purchased a pink plastic fold-out fan with pictures of German landmarks on it. Also a pink giant-pearl necklace. it's amazing.

"America's Next Top Model" is my new favorite show. i love it.

i am looking to purchase a button maker. i'm sick of paying so damn much for buttons. it's high time i got creative and made my own.

i suddenly feel like making lists.
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Saturday, March 13th, 2004

Time:1:56 pm.
so tonight i get to go to Rotary Comedy Club. Rony and i are going to be greeters, and maybe even work in the "cloak room". way cool.

Hey, spring break is coming up. I have no plans. oh, except for going to the airport with stefante. which will be awesome. well if anyone would want to hang out with me let me know. mmmkay?

please do this survey for me. i would appreciate it.
My Blunt Truth Survey is Back! Click Here!
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Tuesday, March 9th, 2004

Time:9:44 pm.
Mood: disappointed.
Sitting in my room last night, i finally realized why i am so obsessed with Asshole McAsshole. It really comes down to one thing; a thing that doesn't really make sense, and yet explains absolutely everything. That thing is:

he is just like my father.

It is a proven fact that in most cases, girls will be attracted to men who are like their own fathers. It is because that is what they know, and what they are familiar with. That would be the reason why i got bored with Lindsay; he was too... NICE for me. and not exciting enough at all. But when it comes to Mr. McAsshole, he is everything i want, and everything i want to (and should) avoid all at the same time. I've had a crush on him off and on for about three years. it has really reached a high point this time, and i hate it.

I SEE what a dick he is. I KNOW that he is terribly selfish and controlling. He's basically everything that i have lived with for the past 16 years and everything i fight to tear myself away from. My head does see that. but the rest of my body doesn't, and that's why i can't just ignore this. I wish it were that simple. You would think that if i see all this stuff; if i KNOW how bad he is for me; then i would just be able to turn the other way and not allow myself to be involved. Unfortunately it doesn't work that way for me. Somehow i am able to shut all the rude things he does out of my head and i constantly dwell on the nice things. and he can be a real sweetheart, when he wants to be. but this is the bottom line:

I am infatuated with him, and i believe that i would do anything for him. and i mean anything. That scares me.

I'm worried about myself.
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Saturday, March 6th, 2004

Time:8:11 pm.
Mood: tired.
i think i need a new layout for this, but i dont know how to make a cool one. i may have to settle for just changing the colors. any suggestions?

i'm beat. Rotary put on a "Bowl-A-Fun" today so i had to go to that at about noon. I was on a team with Rony (from Guatemala, he goes to Milwaukie) and Zuzi (from the Czech Republic, she goes to putnam). Lewis was there too in the lane next to me. i was very happy he was there. I had a very good time, and my bowling wasn't too bad. i actually scored over 100 once.

Then there was a spaghetti dinner fundraiser for Rotary so i had to go work at that. I started working at 4:00 and worked till 7:15 with like one 10 minute break to eat something. I worked super hard. I am very tired. Hopefully i scored some points with the rotary lady who is in charge of me. She has not been too happy with me lately because of my grades. : / i'm trying though.

i got some rockin' temporary tattoos at the bowling alley. Lewis stole my sticker. bleh. There was a hardcore accordion group at the spaghetti dinner. they ruled.
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Friday, March 5th, 2004

Time:8:54 pm.
Mood: cold.
some of my friends did this survey, so i figured i would as well.

subjectivity is objective.Collapse )
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LiveJournal for the scarlet whore.

View:User Info.
You're looking at the latest 20 entries. Missed some entries? Then simply jump back 20 entries.